This is a drawer in my room containing random personal items, a mess of cables, wallets stacked with gift cards, a comb borrowed from a friend. Some items are focal points like my box of trans tape a friend bought as a gift and my STP I sneakily bought on clearance from CVS. Not fully visible in this photo is my packer, one I saved up for over a few months of work and truthfully, was excited yet terrified to buy. These items are very gender affirming for me, using them I'm able to feel happy and at peace with my body and identity. Unfortunately, I'm not always able to use them. The tape used to be openly displayed on my desk's shelf until I realized my family could see it if they visited. I felt the need to hide it, not out of shame but out of fear. Fear of the consequences of being caught, fear of transphobia, fear of losing my relationship with them. This hiding and fear doesn't just apply to my relationship with my family, it permeates throughout my life. Being exposed to transphobia, knowing that being trans makes me a target, it makes me afraid to be myself.