This image shows a plastic bowl of a japanese dessert. There are pieces of jello and fruit inside. I chose this to be my image because of the story behind it. I grew up eating this dessert on special occasions because my mom would either purchase it or make it herself. Now that I am living on my own, I crave things that feel nostalgic or gave me comfort as a child. This small dessert holds so much emotion and story within it. I stopped living with my mom when I was 15 for reasons relating to extremism. My mom grew up in Japan and holds a lot of values that do not align with my queer identity. She constantly reminds me how Americanized I am despite growing up in her household. I chose this dessert because I had a craving for it and it represents a yearning for home and belonging when going home is not an option because it is unsafe.

To expand on my prior comment, I wanted to mention the cultural and social extremism that I experience within the relationship of my mom and I. The major cultural differences between my mom’s upbringing in Japan and my upbringing in the U.S. contribute to gaps in our communication, identities, and perspectives. As I stepped into my queer identity as a teenager, I started to understand the stark difference of my values and my mom’s. Her cultural extremism centered around heteronormative standards and my queer identity have clashed and created tension. Our differences and stubborn perspectives cause waves in our communication. In addition, we experience a language barrier and generational differences that make communicating emotions and experiences difficult. All of this ties back to the jello because of how hard it is for me to ask my mom(who provided all of my cultural socialization growing up) what that jello dessert is. It has been a process for me to maintain my queer identity with pride while also feeling valid in my identity as a bipoc kid of immigrant.